your HEART’s truth
in every Relationship
Silence, sideways glances, anger, tears - wondering why or how to make this better...
your HEART’s truth is a powerful tool to restore balance in personal relationships. It’s perfect to use with your partner, friends, family, your professional relationships, for counsellors or coaches too.
Often in relationships we can find ourselves arguing around the perimeter of our underlying or core concerns because we’re not brave or sure enough to dig deeper. We can be reactionary, rather than present and compassionate to each other. If this is the case, relationships can be at risk of becoming superficial and unsupportive as we disconnect from each other and, over time, we can lose trust.
Unfortunately, when we’re both defending our positions we often can’t see or hear the other person’s point of view. Where is that great love, friend, companion etc. They are busy, so very busy presenting their view, being right, not being wrong and definitely not friendly.
For example, we might argue over not doing the dishes rather than expressing that we feel unloved, abandoned, unheard, or that we’re not enough.
Is there a friend in the room?
Find a friend in the room – it could be you 🙂
Imagine knowing that your partner feels unloved when you don’t wash the dishes. Imagine knowing that your partner doesn’t wash the dishes because they never feel good enough to do it right… don’t dismiss, listen, care, be friendly.
Do remember that knowing how you feel doesn’t mean you can behave like a shit…or not do the damn dishes 🙂
When we know the reason why we are reacting the way we are, it can disempower the trauma by connecting us to now and not then.
What should we really be talking about?
Knowing how you feel allows for choices, growth and a new way of being.
When you both take turns to choose a Truth (making sure you return each pebble to the velvet bag before every turn), it will show you immediately what each of you is feeling and what you should really be talking about. Through this process, a deepening of your relationship becomes possible. New understanding, fostered by your HEART’s truth, also brings compassion for each other’s core needs, vital to any relationship.
The Truth that you or your partner choose is not confirmation of what you are doing to each other – it provides clarity about how you’re feeling and reacting. This hopefully enables both of you to be kind, clarify your intentions and be supportive of each other.
I always recommend that once you have each found your truth, you both choose another Truth to gain more specific information, providing even deeper understanding and potential for healing and growth. For more information on how to use the your HEART’s truth process, please read on.
